• James Novotny

In Defense of Homemaking


When I express my dreams, I often get a lot of push back. The desire to be a homemaker is an often-misunderstood life goal, often bringing up notions of 1940’s housewives with no other option but to be at the feet of their husband’s and societies wishes. This strong image with powerful opinions may only be matched in misunderstanding and hate as the idea of a modern man being the stay at home husband and domestic caretaker. This idea flips the script on sexism but can still rally just as much opposition form men and women alike.


I along with others are often are met with comments like:


“What’s the point of having a homemaking partner after the kids reach adolescence and become more independent?”


“I want to be a homemaker because it would give me lots of free time to pursue [insert anything not-homemaking here].”


“I wouldn’t be just a homemaker. I’m not a freeloader.”


After working a full time job, I quickly saw the value in having an old-fashioned relationship when it comes to chores at home, food prep and time management in creating a genuine work life balance we so long for. I also quickly saw how working a full time job like a ‘man is supposed to’ robbed me of every ounce of happiness I had and drove my mental health into the ground because the ‘drive’ that others had both male and female was not in me.


Menu Planning and nourishment


Cooking you and your partner’s preferred dishes is a treat. You may appreciate eating out once in a while, yet you never need to go to a café to have an extraordinary supper nor due you need to endure insta-meals simply because there isn't time. Food is a bonding experience, for example, cooking your relatives most loved dish is an ideal method to bond with the opposite side of the family or utilizing costly silverware given to you by your parents rather than letting it accumulate dust in a cupboard. What's more, we should not overlook the family meal when individuals from the household really became more acquainted with one another without getting lost in their digital devices.


We regularly whine about the present dependence on fast food and the amount of over prepared foods that we are encouraging our families and yet with an absence of time there truly is no other choice. Being a stay at home parent and life partner gives you that opportunity to make a decent breakfast to begin the day, a sound late morning lunch and a supper that is supporting and not filled with fake additives. Finding out about the nourishing needs of relatives at their different life stages and alternative dietary concerns, is essential to healthy living. Given that science is continually advancing, and relatives are continually maturing, the requirement for this will never vanish. Nothing beats a homecooked supper but who possesses energy for that when the two people are working a 40+ hour work week? Making jam, pies, and turnovers at home, figuring out how to decorate cakes rather than buying from the grocery store, making a winter stew with the vegetables you set away throughout the late spring, are all piece of a quality life not only just survival alone. Having somebody energetic, who has the time to create a happy and healthy living space will transform your home into a home.


Social Connection


Social connections are a powerful thing that can provide fun for the children, resources for the family, advancement in your partner’s career and much more. It may seem old fashioned but showing up at your partner's side at job, business, and social celebrations, make him look good. Having a partner is a very grounding ideal. Showing up alongside him you clarify that he has a superb home life and you can be that power couple everybody wants to be. No this isn't just about being eye candy. In any event, having an partner at home can do some incredible things with regards to help outside the home. This makes your partner a progressively alluring business partner since individuals come to realize that they has a steady home life and they are ready to concentrate as a rule on business. Your family at that point will receive the benefits of potential money related advantages. This same rule applies to being an active parent. It is critical to be a part of your child’s life in and outside of school. Teachers and the parents of other children feel more secure knowing your child comes from a house of love. Not being stuck at work will permit at any rate one parent to be there for their youngsters' pivotal turning points and significant life stages.


How frequently have you gotten somebody a gift card or some pre-made card from a dollar store simply on the grounds that you didn't have the opportunity to do any better? As a homemaker you have the opportunity. Well thought out gifts, letters rather than cards and even planning small get together are all relationship building. Connections, care and showing love are all important parts of the human condition and help to create a deeper more meaningful support network.



Managing Economics


There is a reason why classes called ‘home economics’ were crucial because we once were not such a wasteful society and we tried to save money when we could. The job of money can be broken down in many different ways including categories such as taxes, insurance, investments and more but at the end of the day you are the one who knows exactly how much it costs to operate your home on a monthly basis. You’ve even learned to include a monthly stipend for unexpected and variable expenses like doctor’s visits, gift shopping, and someone’s clothes being ruined. Now being a homemaker doesn’t mean you will be completely without an income either. Maybe you have a small part time job or a crafting business on the side that helps provide a little buffer room for the family. Regardless saving and being fiscally responsible is paramount.


This is one of the most important factors in home economics and saving money rather than throwing it out. Sure, a double income is great but if half of it is being tossed right back out the door what’s the point? Having a partner who can sit down, figure out the best deals and have the time to get them, create a budget, pay all the bills on time without costly late fees is critical to running a good home. Planning your food shopping to economize helps save money in the long run and will make a one income household less strapped for cash. This does not just apply to food. Everything from the amount of a product used, the materials that could be cleaned if you had the time rather than thrown away and replaced. All of this falls under the realm of the homemaker.


Family’s Health

Most of the time homemakers play doctor as well. Most caretakers have a cupboard in their home supplied with everything required for basic medical care. You can take care of your family’s aches and pains, upset tummies, sore throats, cuts and scrapes, and even your and your partner’s New Year’s Day hangovers. Periodically, you replace what’s depleted or expired and know whether you have something before even searching for it. Immediate basic care can save you in the long run when it comes to costly and sometimes unnecessary doctors’ visits. If a trip to a doctor’s office is required for an emergency or even a basic checkup for yourself or the children, this task suddenly becomes much easier when you don’t have the struggle to take time off of work just to do it.


Health is important part of life and getting things checked out before they grow worse is vitally important and something most people struggle with now a days with places of employment slowly removing the benefits that once made them great. With more “free time” You will be able to source healthier products that not only taste great but are nutritious too. Visiting local farmers markets to learn about their practices and how those practices impact the nutritional value of their produce can become a part of your routine. Displacing much of your supermarket haul with hormone-free, antibiotic-free, pesticide-free meat, dairy, fruits, vegetables, and honey from producers with environmentally sustainable practices is the first steps to a healthier life. Taking it a step further you could even have an at home garden saving money and making sure your family has the best.


Cleaning and Home Repair


Speaking of health and doctors’ visits, nothing is worse to your familiy’s health then an unclean home. How much of your weekend is focused on cleaning and home-based chores? How many hours of you and your partner’s free time is spent on the weekends doing exactly that? Laundry, grocery shopping, chasing after the kids or animals, cleaning, mending, prepping food, by the time you are done your weekend is gone and its back to work on Monday. Did either of you have a break? No. And this same rule applies for the end of each weekday.


Cleaning each room of the house especially if you have kids and/or animals is not a simple task and can turn into an all-day chore if it is not attended to regularly and is merely kept to the weekends. Yet we are expected to live a healthy, sanitary, relationship fulfilling, child rearing experience in this sort of setting? Not only does a lack of regular maintenance leave your home unhealthy which can lead to potential illness it also leaves the space unkept if any visitors show up which as stated earlier reflects poorly on the family. What’s the point of working so hard if the one reflection of what you have earned from doing so is filthy? And doctors’ appointments are not the only appointments that need to be kept. Household repair men, internet providers, online shopping delivers all need a person home for things to happen. This is not such an easy feet to accomplish with a nine to five job when most service providers also shut their doors at this time. Its as if the system we live with still functions off a one partner being home and hasn’t advanced with societies needs.


Design and Fabric Upkeep


This may appear to be pointless and in a specific way it may be nevertheless you find out about plan in your regular whether you have an eye for it or were educated in it. Regardless of whether you never get the opportunity to plan a home from the beginning, you know enough about shapes, surfaces, shading, and the significance of representing capacity over structure to have the option to plan a home that enables your family to live easily, reasonably, and wonderfully.


You may change out your family unit's stylistic theme with the seasons. This may appear to be a pointless aptitude however having the option to roll out little reasonably priced improvements to the home will help by cutting fatigue in its tracks that may bring about an expensive, and an extremely long process by making the old new again. This likewise means the outside of the home. Like we said before with regards to growing your very own produce, having the information in garden and yard maintenance is important and there is no written in stone law stating the homemaker can’t be involved in lawn care.


Textiles don’t just adorn the home they are apart of your clothing too. Garment care is a significant piece of homemaking as it tends to be one of the most repetitive ones. If a homemaker does a couple of heaps of clothing each weekday morning. It just takes 30-45 minutes of their day and puts to bed the idea of a "laundry day". As a homemaker they have the time to starch and iron and search around with the goal that your garments are good looking however can likewise be washed at home. In the event that a button needs mending or a gap sewn shut, you will have the option to do that then purchasing a totally different piece.


Civic Responsibility


You and your partner represent the family unit regardless how that family looks. Whether you are a straight couple, gay couple, male, female, anything in between, have children by birth or adopted or have children that have fur, each of your actions reflect one another. This may seem like a bygone notion that no one wants to believe anymore but it still holds true just like getting judged in the first 7 seconds of a meeting. Every time you open the door of your home – whether to go out; to send your spouse or kids out; to let in a friend, business associate, or service technician; or to receive a package – your family’s reputation will be affected. Like it or not, people will form opinions of you based on how well put together you look, how nicely you behave, and how well kept your home is. It may sound bad but it’s the way the world works. There is every possibility that this will affect your partner’s business opportunities, the way you are treated by the neighbors, even the possibility of your children’s friends’ parents allowing them to come to your home. These social graces and taking care of the home are often forgotten when there isn’t someone to oversee them. This leads into civic responsibility.


A homemaker can put aside a couple of hours out of each week to volunteer for causes you and your family care about. Volunteering can likewise be another opportunity to put your education to use for the betterment of society. Did you study psych in school? Possibly you can advise youths at the neighborhood drop-in shelter. Did you study ecological science? Maybe you need to seat at a specially appointed charity that haggles with the city and a revenue driven organization to tidy up the nearby waterway, raises assets to pay for it. Charitable effort is additionally a significant route for you to make social associations for your family, and those can profit you and your family by making business open doors for your better half and social open doors for every one of you. At the end of the day a better community creates a better world and you as a homemaker can be apart of that.



Relationships Inside the Home


There is more to life then survival and physical health. Self-care may be a buzz word, but it is important. Being a homemaker provides more time for both you and your partner at the end of the day and week. Suddenly you both have time to take care of yourself. You both will now have down time not consumed by chores. You’ll have time to pursue hobbies, start a blog, learna craft, write poetry, exercise, go to social events, even pursue an education.


Even making time for your relationship both intimately and romantically. All of these actions facilitate a deeper connection with your partner and create an old school relationship that can span a lifetime. Then there are the little humans that call your place home, the children. I am no doctor or psychiatrist and I do not have the time of day to point out all the studies that have shown time and again the countless benefits that come from having a parent in a child’s life and not just a bunch of baby sitters and child care professionals. But what I can say is this; if you want a brighter more intelligent, more responsible, more sustainable, more capable future, that starts with the children and that will not be taught to them by a parentless home.


There is literally no end to what you can do as a homemaker or to the benefits accrued to yourself and to your family. A homemaker is far from lazy. This is not about serving “your man” or being a “wifey” or even a “hubby”, this is just another form of a partnership. If you feel one person serves, then both serve each other as one cannot live a fulfilling life without the work of the other. You may be dependent on your spouse for money (if you don’t opt for a small part time job), but, when the kids need something, they’re coming to you – and, frankly, so is your partner.

Follow Me!

A.png

About Me!

Spending an

unmentionable

amount of time

as a single

participant

on the side of the

bride as a new age

“bridesman” James

Novotny, professional

event coordinator shares his experience to help provide an artistic perspective to your wedding day and life.

Featured Posts

James Novotny, Always the Bridesman is an inclusive

proudly queer owned and operated business